|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
Teens and cell phone rules - 7/20/2010 11:08:34 AM
|
|
|
StillHoping
Posts: 14
Joined: 7/6/2010
Status: offline
|
My son is entering high school and we are preparing to buy him his first cell phone. I'm curious, what rules have you placed on your teens with their phones? Is there anything you would have done differently when you allowed your older child/ teen to have a phone?
We are trying to give him more independence with the phone and don't want to negate that with lots of rules but realize that some rules are necessary. Which rules are necessary in your home?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/20/2010 11:30:20 AM
|
|
|
christsstar
Posts: 2225
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline
|
*no txting during family time (dinner, family night, when guests are over)
*no using phone after a certain time - usually 9, or bedtime.
*we get the chargers in our rooms so they don't txt all night
*we get to look at any txt message if we think there is a need.
some of these rules have come up due to inappropriate behavior on a cell phone. step-daughter was txting some MAN with an Ohio phone number and he was sending her photos. She sent him some photos too, thank God with clothes on. Step-son has been known to txt his girlfriend late at night until his battery dies. That's why we get the chargers, too, so they don't just charge their phone in their room and txt all night.
If it were up to me and DH, they wouldn't get internet or email on their phones, but their mom thinks they are mature and responsible enough for that. We disagree. Porn sites in step-daughter's history led us to that conclusion. Golly ... if it were up to us they wouldn't have cell phones. But again ... their mom bought them and pays for them. So we regulate as we can.
I hope your son is a little more responsible than our kids are.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/21/2010 8:01:47 AM
|
|
|
GraceyGirl
Posts: 460
Joined: 6/4/2006
Status: offline
|
My kids both have cell phones;
Due to DS poor choices (sexting with a girl) the rules are much harsher for him now.
Basic rules are this;
No usage after bedtime, period
Chargers are in central location, NOT in their rooms
We review texts (we have sprint, and so I can look at any text, any time online. Don't even need their phone)
Phone is NEVER used during school hours EXCEPT for an emergency. If I find texts or calls during school hours, you are busted.
Screw up and you loose your phone for a day. Make the same mistake twice, it's a week. Third time? Phone is history for a month.
People argue the rationale of giving a kid a cell phone, but our kids are so involved in after school activities, and other extra curriculur stuff, that the phones are necessary. As a parent, I want the peace of mind that I can push a button and get a hold of my kid when the mood strikes me.
_____________________________
I have every confidence in God’s ability to work through you…don’t give anything away just because He is stretching you. ~ Donious Eichhornious
Our Village Life
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/21/2010 9:12:55 AM
|
|
|
aprilshowers12
Posts: 924
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
|
Same as above, I pay $3.00 a month for parent controls on my teens phones. Their phones actually shut off at 9pm on school nights, they have no control over this. Their friends know it happens becuase they have been warned, so if they are talking or texting they know what happened. DD does sometimes have group homework that runs late into the night (10:30ish) but she has told her friends that they have to call the house phone so we can monitor how late and how often.
My DS 14, used 23 minutes on his phone this month and 3 texts, he is the exception to the rule. But DD (15) has only used about 300 texts and 75 minutes.
They have ZERO internet access on their phones.
_____________________________
ConfessionsofaProverbs31Wannabe
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/21/2010 11:06:42 AM
|
|
|
bolt.
Posts: 2318
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: Canada
Status: offline
|
I think at a certain point teens should be paying for their own cell phones. I don't have teens yet, but my intention is to encourage them to spend their own money on both the phone and a plan -- probably a pay-as-you-go plan. In this case, since I might need to contact them when they are out of minutes, I would have one of those minutes cards with me -- but if I need to use it, then they need to replace it.
The other rules are sensible, including the tight surveillance of hours of use, and the immediate and increasingly harsh consequences for violating the limits set. Aprilshowers is particularly wise in having the phone itself do the 'enforcing' of some of the rules. This makes for less interpersonal clashes around 'where is your phone' and 'were you just on it' and 'don't you know what time it is'. With teens, those sorts of interpersonal clashes erode the warmth of the relationship (even when they are necessary) so it's a good plan to have as few of them as possible, using little work-arounds like having the phone just shut itself down -- it feels less like the parent is doing it personally.
_____________________________
Are you having trouble getting your daily dose of the life changing Word of God?
Let my friend Brian at Daily Audio Bible help you too.
>>audio link<<
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/21/2010 12:17:32 PM
|
|
|
Abbreviated
Posts: 2323
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Kansas
Status: offline
|
Since we homeschool we've been able to not need cell phones till they were older & able to pay for them themselves.
Ds1 was in tech school & 18. Ds2 received a phone for Christmas & pays via iwireless & turned 19 at the end of April. He also received an Ipod from the college he is transferring to. We may need to switch to Verizon since it has better coverage. He has a laptop & uses XXX for accountability. A weekly email is sent to me & his gf. His youth pastor was being sent an email, but he moved out of state.
The other 2 boys are 15 & 13. They are not even interested in having an account on FB or being members here.
_____________________________
1959-20__ Who are you living your dash for ?
Jackie
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/21/2010 12:38:49 PM
|
|
|
christsstar
Posts: 2225
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline
|
DH's ex used to have parental controls on step-daughter's phone because she kept using it at school. But she cancelled it for whatever reason.
If/when we take control of step-son's phone we will monitor the numbers closely and if needed, will pay for the parental control.
If the kids had an income of their own, I would probably want some payment for the phones; but nowadays, with txting built into the plans and everything, there is nothing extra to pay for.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/22/2010 8:10:23 AM
|
|
|
FunBetty
Posts: 5288
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Land o Cheesecake and Pizza
Status: online
|
Don't have a teen (yet), but as someone who spends a lot of time volunteering with youth group, I would also add that the teen needs to be responsible for the replacement of the phone. I see a lot of broken phones in youth group!
_____________________________
My PFY
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/22/2010 8:13:37 PM
|
|
|
Kath
Posts: 17702
Joined: 2/28/2005
Status: offline
|
I really don't have many rules. My daughter is very responsible and has never given me a reason to add to it. The only thing I have told her is that it's illegal to text and drive and if I ever find out she has done so the phone is gone for a while. I've seen kids text and drive and it's crazy.
We got her a phone when she was 11 because she would ride her horse on the road alone and if something happened she could call.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/22/2010 8:20:05 PM
|
|
|
CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 4646
Joined: 12/30/2007
From: Inside my head
Status: offline
|
Oh yeah, texting and driving is forbidden, that's one iron-clad rule here. I forgot about that, Kath.
_____________________________
I will admit that the Lion is, in general, weird.
~Kerrlaw~
they say goldfish have no memory
i guess their lives are much like mine
and the little plastic castle
is a surprise every time
Ani DiFranco
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/24/2010 2:24:24 PM
|
|
|
IwillseekHim
Posts: 3529
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: offline
|
I'd like to know about the parental controls, is this something Verizon offers???
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/24/2010 2:38:33 PM
|
|
|
GraceyGirl
Posts: 460
Joined: 6/4/2006
Status: offline
|
We are with Sprint - I LOVE that I can put the Sprint Family Locator on my Hero, and I can see each of the kids, where ever they are. It's great. I get texts at set times each day, letting me know where they are. GPS is awesome. . .
I know Verizon offers the "parent/child" feature, but I also know they charge for it. And navigation. And texting. And on and on. . .which is why we switched from them. LOL
_____________________________
I have every confidence in God’s ability to work through you…don’t give anything away just because He is stretching you. ~ Donious Eichhornious
Our Village Life
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/26/2010 7:02:44 PM
|
|
|
christsstar
Posts: 2225
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: IwillseekHim
I'd like to know about the parental controls, is this something Verizon offers???
yes, $5/month. I dont' remember everything it does, but one is limit hours of use. I think you can block certain numbers, too. Or only allow specific numbers.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/26/2010 8:37:10 PM
|
|
|
thabile
Posts: 2
Joined: 7/26/2010
Status: offline
|
No use of cellphone during family time.
At church, a definite NO! No!
If rules are contravened, the phone is confiscated.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/27/2010 12:31:03 PM
|
|
|
christsstar
Posts: 2225
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: thabile
No use of cellphone during family time.
At church, a definite NO! No!
If rules are contravened, the phone is confiscated.
Unless they have plans with their mom after church, they're not even allowed to take their phones with them.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/30/2010 1:07:22 AM
|
|
|
MrsDC
Posts: 17
Joined: 8/17/2005
From: Sinaloa, Mexico
Status: offline
|
Hm. We don't have any rules, besides the obvious: no talking or texting while driving. But that's not a "rule", it's a "duh".
The only time I've ever had to say anything to my daughter (17yo) was when she kept leaving it home when she went out. I told her that I wanted to be able to get hold of her if I needed her, so she needed to have the phone.
Sarah bought her first cell phone herself, paid for the time herself (all cell phones here are like trac-phones in the US) and when it was stolen, she went down to the office and canceled it herself. We just gave her a new one (honey's old one), because it's such a useful tool for us.
What would I do differently? Nothing. When my next child is ready to buy a cell phone, they're more than welcome to buy one themselves, pay the monthly charges themselves...
_____________________________
Fancy signatures are highly overrated. Just click here and visit my blog. Please. 
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/31/2010 3:15:36 AM
|
|
|
libertarianbeliever
Posts: 98
Joined: 7/29/2010
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: thabile
No use of cellphone during family time.
At church, a definite NO! No!
If rules are contravened, the phone is confiscated.
That would knock out half our church. We have people who use their Iphones as Bibles or some that tweet sermon notes.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/31/2010 9:16:23 AM
|
|
|
Sunnymom
Posts: 1557
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: StillHoping
My son is entering high school and we are preparing to buy him his first cell phone. I'm curious, what rules have you placed on your teens with their phones? Is there anything you would have done differently when you allowed your older child/ teen to have a phone?
We are trying to give him more independence with the phone and don't want to negate that with lots of rules but realize that some rules are necessary. Which rules are necessary in your home?
Along the lines of what most have said- but I think what is important is that we as parents model the appropriate use of technology. Since my dh and I don't use our phones at the table or during family time or late at night, the kids don't do it either. We are 'early adopters' - I think the kids have had phones for so long, (btw, they are 13, 11, and 8), it's almost like a toothbrush- they use it when they need it, and they certainly aren't obsessed with it. My dh actually gets upset sometimes because he wants to call or txt while he's at work, and their phones are off. 
We treat technology (phones, laptops, etc) like tools- and like any tool, it can be used to build or destroy. Take something as innocuous as a chair- I can sit in it , or beat you over the head with it- but it's my heart attitude that determines whether or not I will abuse the things God has allowed me to have, not the item itself. So in addition to having some guidelines for the responsible/appropriate use of cell phones, we are also trying to instill a healthy attitude toward the use of any new technology.
_____________________________
Susan R
Sunniemom's Survival Guide
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/31/2010 11:27:19 AM
|
|
|
christsstar
Posts: 2225
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Hadassah_
quote:
ORIGINAL: libertarianbeliever
quote:
ORIGINAL: thabile
No use of cellphone during family time.
At church, a definite NO! No!
If rules are contravened, the phone is confiscated.
That would knock out half our church. We have people who use their Iphones as Bibles or some that tweet sermon notes.
If I forget my notebook I'll use the notepad app in my iPhone to jot down notes and then transfer to my little notepad.
As do I. And I use my bible app when I don't have my bible or am in the sound booth and there isn't room for my bible. But I know the teens aren't using a bible app or taking notes. They're txting.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Teens and cell phone rules - 7/31/2010 3:02:29 PM
|
|
|
Homegrownkids
Posts: 359
Status: offline
|
Our kids just purchased their own, pay as you go, phones. So we are still "hashing" out some rules.
Basically, no texting at the kitchen table, no texting after 9:30, we can view texts at any time and we leave all phones at home during church services and family vacations.
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
Christine 
Vinegar!!!!
). 
