|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
Why not tell that person? - 7/29/2010 6:27:39 PM
|
|
|
Striving2BVirtuous
Posts: 63
Joined: 3/15/2008
Status: offline
|
I feel that the reason alot of relationships never even have a chance to take off is because we (being human) make false assumptions about a person's behavior/actions/words.
If you dont open up communication about some of these things, you walk away with the wrong impression about that person.
It just sorta irratates me when people get upset about something someone has said or done but make no attempt whatsoever to cumminicate their likes and dislikes. But yet they still hold it against that person as if that person is supposed to be able to read their mind and automatically KNOW some of these things???
How is a woman supposed to know to stop doing something if you havent communicated that you dont like it ?
I'm not saying be mean or rude. But to have an adult conversation about why that peron's actions/words don't work for you personally. Because it could be something that would allow that person to work on themselves in the realm of relationships. Sometimes we dont realize things about ourselves until someone brings it to our attention 
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why not tell that person? - 7/29/2010 7:07:35 PM
|
|
|
CMT8808
Posts: 915
Joined: 9/4/2009
Status: offline
|
I know for me personally I am a hard person to get to know IRL. I listen to the other person mainly and for me it is a comfort thing, before I will divulge anything about my likes or dislikes to someone.
I have an aquaintance who lives in the same area as me. The first day I met her I knew more than I should have known about her and her life, family, etc... Then when she believed she resolved her problem I had not her from her.
Then out of the clear blue she shows up at my door with an issues that she knew I could help her with. Well she was unprepared, used up a lot of my time (because she didn't have the equipment necessary; so in the meantime was talking to everyone and anyone she thought could help her. Then she calls me and starts dictating (now she knows nothing about her situation, hence the knock on the door) And starting repeating to me what these other folks told her, but in a demeaning way. Well naturally I was upset and said, "Do not talk down to me or act like I am stupid!"
Had she had the proper equipment it would have taken a whole 15 minutes, but because I had to use someone else's which turned out to be outdated and then used my own which was not compatible it became apparently my lack of knowledge.
This is partly why I do not share with others, they are self-centered and self-focused. So why bother communicating anything other than the great commission? I treat folks like this as a ministry and do not pursue any real relationship with them.
And do not get me on my other rant about folks and their cell phones 
Sorry Striving that you are having difficulties
CMT
< Message edited by CMT8808 -- 7/29/2010 7:13:51 PM >
_____________________________
formerly Delete 123
Never Underestimate the Power of God
Romans 8:28, Proverb 3:5
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why not tell that person? - 7/29/2010 10:09:05 PM
|
|
|
jaimestarcross
Posts: 1229
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
|
I don't know about you but I've spent many years saying that sort of thing to various people
and they look at me and say something like..."I don't know why that would be a problem for you."
< Message edited by jaimestarcross -- 7/30/2010 2:32:33 PM >
_____________________________
shoutlife.com/UBfine
"A world of nice people, content in their own niceness, looking no further, turned away from God, would be just as desperately in need of salvation as a miserable world---and might be even more difficult to save."
C.S. Lewis
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why not tell that person? - 7/30/2010 8:26:22 AM
|
|
|
DaveW
Posts: 4025
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Striving2BVirtuous
It just sorta irratates me when people get upset about something someone has said or done but make no attempt whatsoever to cumminicate their likes and dislikes. But yet they still hold it against that person as if that person is supposed to be able to read their mind and automatically KNOW some of these things???
How is a woman supposed to know to stop doing something if you havent communicated that you dont like it ? IMO it is because we have lost the concept that relationships need to be worked on. We want everything to just fall into place with no effort from either of us. (technology has not helped this idea)
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Then we get bent out of shape when something comes up and since we do not know how to work thru relational issues, we harbor ill will and bad feelings until there is an eventual dissolution of the relationship (either defacto or dejure).
_____________________________
Avatar is my son Caleb and Leah on their wedding 12/20/09
=======================
Winner of 2010 "best in "He Says"
=======================
Our CD is available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why not tell that person? - 7/30/2010 10:50:26 AM
|
|
|
Simway
Posts: 323
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
|
There are those who think the world should know everything they have done, are doing, and plan to do. They like to let everyone and anyone know what their problems are. If advice is given, and it doen' t work out then it's the persons fault who give the advice. There is no winning with these people. I have found the best answer is simply " I don't know what to tell you." Most of the time that is true, I don't. For me, I'm a loner for the most part, and keep my business to myself, and wish others would do the same.
Simway
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Why not tell that person? - 7/31/2010 11:19:22 AM
|
|
|
vicbhe
Posts: 63
Joined: 4/24/2005
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
|
I think DaveW hit on a very good point. Many of us do not know how to work on a relationship when we hit a bump in the road. We simply dump the relationhip and move on to the next when things are not what we want them to be.
Encouraging this is the sheer amount of available people out there and the ability to travel easily. I remember an older lady telling her story, with a gleam in her eye, of how her husband of 60yrs traveled so far to 'get' her and bring her home. The whole community actually anticipated her arrival and welcomed her (I'm sure she has built on this in her mind over the years.) Going out of town to get a mate just wasn't common practice. Oh, and the distance, I drive farther everyday to work, but back then it was a loooong way off.
Point is, so many options make it seem so much easier to just dump and start over.
_____________________________
"Pay now, play later. Play now, pay later." Orville Ashley, my 10th grade algebra teacher talking about college. Wish I'd listened better back then.
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
